The Bobbin Aubins

Wow I can't believe it has been over year! Time sure flies.. I remember being a kids the school year would drag and summer would pass so quickly. Now as a "grown up" it seems that time just passes faster and faster each year.

After that last blog entry I had many things happen in my life. 2012 what a year of learning. Learning to lean on my Lord more than ever before. I learned to fully lean on him, through testing, trials, hardships, hurts, and more. Coming out this side of it all, I can say that know my Saviour more than ever before. I look back at a few years ago when I felt like i was "doing fine" Spiritually and realize that I was drowning in a sea of look good Christianity. I looked ok, played the part well, and wasn't into deep sin, but my oh my was I so far from the Lord.

I will be catching those who want to know up with my life in the last year as I can. I do have a wonderful husband and kids to meet the needs of, so it will be here and there when I can fit it in to be at the computer.... I will share what the Lord has done in my life, what He has taught me or shown me, what's working with Homeschooling, things that are encouraging me in the ministry, ect...

I may talk about area's that I feel strongly about. Not to make anyone who dis-agrees with me mad, upset, or like they have to agree, just to share. I know that when I go through something it often encourages me to know that someone else's been there. Or that I did something that some one else did, just to know i am not loony.... So I hope no one gets hurt or upset. I also will make no apologies for what I write about, the way I live or how I choose to share it. If you don't want to know how great my home birth was, then don't read my birth stories. If you want to nitpick how I home school, go right ahead ( I probably will not publish your comments:-) ), if you want to go through old post and 'stick it to me" in how i changed my mind go ahead...just don't try to tell me about it. I am not writing to please one group of readers. I am righting to shine for the Lord, and what I feel His leading is, perhaps be used of Him to help a sister in Lord. I don't care to get into debates, like i said already this is just where I am sharing what in my heart, like or don't:-) If you find fault in what I right, sorry, I am not the most grammatically correct writers!

For the Snarky people, go ahead have your fun.... I seem to remember being too boring anyway!

SO last April not too long after writing my birth story, my husband found out he had Cancer. It was a shock! Through it all (which I will try to write about eventually) I got to know the Lord so much. I realized that all too often I was running to "friends" and not turning to the one that should have been my best friends. God revealed how faithful and patient He is and will be for His children....... To be continued....

To start out I am sorry if this is a bit jumbled. I know it has been barely 2 months, but I was racking my brain to remember:-)

SO I was a 8 days past the guesstimation date, surprise surprise! I had gone from being patient to not-so-patient, haha. For those who go late, they know that feeling:-) I had what I thought was my "bloody show", so I started getting very excited. I thought this little one was coming in the next 24 hours. With Kaleb that is what happened. However it was not a normal show, I kept bleeding and bleeding. Labor pains had been coming on during the nights, pick up and get regular, stronger and stronger then fizzle out for the whole week before. So after having that weird bleeding, (I still thought it was my "show") I decided to try to take some Castor oil, 3 tblspoons, and seemed to get things going.

So I called my midwife, and my team (my mom and sisters). They all came, in the middle of the night, ugh I felt so bad when they got here, it seemed to be fizzling again. So my midwife applied some cervical pressure points, like she had with Kaleb (those had worked, I had him with in 3 1/2 hours). This was not Kaleb and I shouldn't have thought it would be the same, but.... So again contractions picked up then stopped again. So that morning everyone went home and I tried to not be discouraged. My baby was happy and content in there and I did my best to be patient again.

This is was when I was just a week late. I was trying to get the baby down more by swinging. :-)

I kept bleeding that whole week after though, and I was getting a little concerned. So when I was 10 days past due I went to Kaiser for a non-stress test. I went to get some peace of mind and be sure this baby had enough fluid and was in the right position. I got my peace of mind, but then a pile of stress to go with it! While they were doing it they were checking my blood pressure, and it was a little high. So they wanted to send me to L&D for evaluation. I knew what that meant, a ton of monitors, stress, and pressure to induce since I was "late". I did not want that! Yet with the pressure that it could be bad I tried to get a hold of my midwife. At last when I did, she felt that I was fine. That Kaisers idea of high was different than hers. I still was having that weird bleeding and began to have fears. My midwife thought that is was from a Varicosity on my cervix since it was lasting so long.

So after much thought and prayer my husband and I decided to just go home and rest. So our assistant (who happened to be a long-time friend of my family) decided she would come and check my blood pressure through the night. I was more at peace with that, than just going home and ignoring the nurse that was urging me to go to the hospital.

I slept between contractions and Jacquee would check my blood pressure to see how it was. It was pretty normal. When I woke up at some point in the night feeling dizzy and nauseous, and Jacquee check my bp, it had gone up much since the last time. So we headed to the hospital. I was beginning to think that my hopes and dreams of a home birth were not going to happen. I wanted nothing more than for this baby to be born healthy. So we went! After being evaluated for several hours, my blood pressure settled down, the Midwife there ruled out pre-eclamsia (from some blood work she did) and said I could go home or I was welcome to stay and be induced. She assured me that my bp was fine, check my fluid levels again (they were great) and said the baby had straitened out. During the stressful non-stress test we had noticed the baby at an angle into my left hip.

So home we went. I was now at total peace that everything was fine. Before that my mom and Jacquee had asked how I felt about everything, and if I was having doubts or fears of having him or her at home. I was, but never wanted to say it, because I wanted that home birth, but more than that just for him/her to be ok. I think it was from all the bleeding that I was still having that made me scared. Once home we all slept. Then Jacquee went home to sleep, my mom was thinking of going home but I asked her to stay.

Friday afternoon Claudette decided to come check on me at my house. When she came, she started the pressure points again. We were hoping that since the baby was now in the right position that descending would be easy and I would go quick. So it got going again. This time it did work, and I progressed quicker. During the contractions I would sit on my ball or hula, trying to keep this little one coming down. When Claudette had just started the pressure points and my labor got a little more intense I started to laugh at the end of a contraction. I looked at my sister, Twylia, that was due very soon after me and said: "you're next".

A little later when Claudette and Jacquee were listening to the heart beat, they noticed a deceleration. Claudette had me flip to hand and knees position with my rear in the air (this is a birth story sorry if that is TMI) and she checked to make sure that the cord was not prolapsed. I was so scared, I wanted to cry, but knew that I needed to not stress especially if something were wrong. So I prayed! After that, I layed on my side and the baby's heart came right back up. So they decided it best for me to labor on my side. The baby recovered so well, and having them listen extra brought relief to my fears. Knowing that everyone in my house, including my midwife were praying was a great strength to me.Thankfully it did not do that again!

So I think I was about an 8 when I got in the tub. Ahhhh what relief! My contractions were manageable, since they never really got closer than 2 -3 minutes apart. I was so excited getting in the tub, again thinking very soon we would see if this was a boy or girl.... When I got in the tub I became a little giddy and started joking. At one point I started laughing and said that i looked like a frog. My cervix didn't do much after about 1 1/2 in the tub Claudette said I should go back to bed and try to rest and lay on my side again. So I did that for about 45 minutes, then went in the shower probably for a half an hour and then back to the tub. I was a little persistent with getting back in;0) Once back in, Claudette applied some herbs to help my cervix. I started feeling the urge to push, but then at the end of contractions it would go away. I didn't know if I should try to push or not. So Claudette had me lay on my side, and she did perineal massage and help guide my pushing. That helped and brought the baby down. So I pushed a few more times and the baby came down. I felt it completely, more than I had before. When the baby came out the cord was wrapped around the neck 2/3 times and after Claudette unraveled the baby I pulled HIM (yea a boy) on to my side. I was so glad to have him out, and see that he was ok. God is so good! After a few minutes I maneuvered onto my back and Claudette passed him back around my legs to my chest. We then noticed that the cord was also around his waist. He was so Tiny. We announced that his name was Titus Jeremiah and I called him Tiny Titus. We decided that the cord may have been keeping him high and that was the reason for my not normal for me labor. And the reason I was feeling the urge to push but it would go away because the cord would pull him back up.

Daddy and Titus minutes after his birth:-)

Claudette, Tim, my mom, me and Titus, Twylia, and Jacquee.

My wonderful birth team...just missing my little sisters:-) They were my fans and my hand holders.

I am so glad that I ended up having him at home. I know that if I had been at the hospital I probably would have had major abdominal surgery (c-sec). He was born 100% safely at home thanks to a skilled mid-wife that took great care and monitored me and me alone. For me that is part of the reason I choose to have a home birth. The care you get is personal, and being monitored by a person not a computer, you get someone watching you in case an emergency arises, not waiting for a reason to call it one. I would not do anything different. I rest in the assurance to that God is in control, and no matter where I am home or hospital His will will be done. It was a learning experience for me, and a growing too.